Christmas... [×]

It's Christmas tonight!

Yay!

But apparently it's the loneliest night that I've ever been through in this year... (seriously)

Maybe this is my final challenge?

To begin with, I actually wanted to ask some friends out for tea, but they have plans already. (Yikes!)

And to make it worse, I actually asked the person who planned it, and he says he's lazy to come out at night. (What a liar, burn in hell someday...)

And a very good friend of mine, her cousins came back to celebrate the night together with the rest of her family, so I wish her a very joyful and cheerful night.

I know there are some issues between us, mostly from me... (I'm so sorry...)

But I really hope that it'll go away soon, cuz it's really killing me...

Last night, she said to me, that she is fed up with me, which really kills me inside out..

We've been the best of friends for months, and I never thought that she'll say this to me.

It appears that I've expected too much from her as a friend, but hell yes, I AM in love with you!

And some friends gave me advices on managing this problem...

I know I HAVE to give you some freedom, I can't be so selfish, cuz I always expect her to at least treat me like more than a friend...

Cuz I've done a lot of things for her, but someone once told me, you don't always get what you give!

So I'm gonna be grateful about the fact that we ARE best friends now.

And I have no idea what's gonna come in my way in the future.
But we'll do our best to overcome it, if you're willing to.

And I did a comparison lately, this is totally different from the past.

She doesn't even text me first anymore... (I cried a lot about this, even now...)

I'm really afraid that she'll get rid of me someday, cuz she's ALL I have right now.

My energy, my motivation...

We've promised to look after each other, don't you remember?

You'll be there for me in 2011, for my SPM, and I'll be there for you next year.

Actually we talked about a lot of things, pinky promises and stuffs, you wouldn't want to break 'em, would you?

Birthday aftermath... [×]

After birthday, it's ALL disaster!

Problem?

I have a good mood today.
Ain't gonna break any lies, peepo can lie to me whenever they want.
Ain't gonna worry about anything, peepo wanna suicide? I don't give a fxck.
Ain't gonna whine about anything, it's not like anyone will do anything about it.
Ain't gonna ride my bicycle when I'm moody, it's wasting my energy.
Ain't gonna doubt about anything, true or false, no harm is done to me.
Problem? :)

No title...

When it's your fault, we blame NO ONE, and when it's my fault, I HAVE to apologize...

Every time you make a mistake, I'll complain, and then we'll argue...

In the end, you'll say blame NO ONE, and I'll say SORRY...

Then the process repeats, we argue everyday cuz of the SAME mistake...

What am I?

Here I am, back again, but I'm gonna release my feelings this time...

Yesterday, she went for tea, thought she's gonna go back home earlier, but I saw her riding pass my house near 11pm, laughing (she was happy)...
Guess how I felt about it?
Well I was actually calm like, "Yeah, it's alright."
But then I followed the gang to ride along, she kept scooting away from me (obviously), I didn't mind, then we went back home...
She replied my text message after HALF AN HOUR, I didn't mind about that either, but she's already sleepy (as expected)...
And she said maybe she have to work tomorrow (which means today), but she's playing online games instead, it's okay...
But she didn't text me today, I really began to doubt my position...
After leaving me like that yesterday, she didn't wanna compensate for it, she was like, "Tea, play and sleep."
I'm like, "Waiting, worried and ended up waiting for her to come back and go to sleep after less than 10 messages was sent."
A best friend or a toy?
I don't fxxking know...